So Many Things, So Little Time…

Things have been a bit busy lately. I missed yesterday’s post, in case you didn’t notice – which, if you didn’t raises the question: Why am I writing this? – and today I’m so swamped that I again don’t have a narrative for you. Just some random thoughts from the last few days, some funny, some not. As always, even though nobody seems to care, I welcome your observations on any of the items listed below or on things I didn’t mention that warrant attention.

I’ll start off easy: Bill Clinton eats the spotlight like Cookie Monster loose in the Keebler Elves’ tree. His speech last night seemed to intentionally override both his wife’s speech the night before, and Barack Obama’s speech scheduled for tonight. In fact, they have moved Obama’s speech to Mile High Field to ensure Obama has a larger crowd to elicit a reaction from, since he would never be able to galvanize the Pepsi Center crowd the way Bill did.

All I can say is, after they arrested 4 fools in a truck with plans to assassinate Obama at the Pepsi Center, I sure feel for the fine members of the Secret Service who have to establish security at Mile High. That’s got to be a pain in the butt detail, if you ask me; how do you feel when the presumptive candidate you’ve been guarding turns out to be the loser? Do you feel like you wasted your time? Do you start to wonder if your boss likes you? I’m just curious how it feels to protect a man as if he were the president, only to find out he won’t be president. It’s gotta feel like that time in gym when the good kids picked you for their team and you thought you were gonna win, only you end up losing by about 45 because the sucky team was just on that day, right?

Do the national conventions make anyone else feel sane by comparison, or is it just me?

I was talking to some teenagers last night, and I used the phrase “stand-up guy.” Exactly NONE of them knew what I meant by the phrase. I felt old. Then I tried to explain it to them, and I felt stupid. Nice combo.

College football kicks off tonight, starting the official Drunk season. This is when the professional drunks really pick up their game (tailgate, in-game, after-game, celebratory bar hop/drown-your-sorrows bar-hop) and amatuers realize they have a lot to learn (especially after they pass out in their frat brother’s Honda Accord without ever making it to the tailgate).

I bust my butt to leave the house by a particular time everyday, to ensure that I’ll get to work by 7:20. Lay my clothes out the night before, wake up right when the alarm goes off, quick shower, quick shave, and out the door by 6:20 to try and beat traffic. Do this everyday, and get to work always by 7:20. Today, I slow things down a bit, deciding not to rush, knowing that the world won’t explode if I’m not at my desk by 7:20. I relax in the shower. I floss – twice. I use the SonicCare toothbrush with the timed cycle. I just take it easy and end up leaving at 6:30. Got to work at 7:15. All I can wonder is: WHY?

Someone asked me the other day if I had a Twitter. I told them that was between me and my doctor and was none of their business. Turns out, a Twitter is some sort of online tool thingy. All I can say is it makes me think of Tweety Bird for some reason.

Some fun things to say: Biff Pocaroba; Puggles; Nanu-nanu; spanktastic.

I had more people read about the Waffle House than anything else I’ve written. There is something universally appealing about that restaurant, not the least of which is the waitresses charming insistence on not having all of their teeth.

They have brought back Beverly Hills 90210. Do you honestly see people from the cast of “The Hills” going to a place called “The Peach Pit”? Indeed, there is nothing new under the sun. And apparently nothing good, either.

The Olympics are over, and I wonder what happened to the Chinese Olympians who didn’t take a medal, or worse off, were supposed to win gold and didn’t. I would imagine that some tiny town in outer Mongolia has a markedly increased population today. “Hey – anywhere for me to throw my javelin?”

Just a thought: why doesn’t bottled water come in cans? If it’s good enough for soda, it’s good enough for simple H20, right?

Something I just realized the other day: my iPod has a larger hard drive than the first three computers I bought put together. I imagine the next generation iPod will be able to store more than the entire U.S.A. military computer network.

Know who I miss? Lewis Grizzard. Although, I read through some of his last books the other day, and he got kind of mean and crotchety in his later years. Kind of went from Sinbad to Andy Rooney with his writing. That depressed me a little. I hope I don’t end up the angry white Southern male who rails against all that is evil in this world (and by evil, I mean doesn’t mesh well with the tiny corner of the globe that I grew up in).

I think I have been bitten by the traveling bug. But only the domestic variety.

Time to make the donuts. Then eat them.